So our little miracle turned out to be a blighted ovum. An embryo that doesn't quite get nestled in, and instead absorbs back into the uterus, leaving behind a beautiful sack that continues to grow, and makes mommy feel totally pregnant.
We got this devastating news on Monday 7.7.14 and I was told to prepare for a miscarriage that has yet to come.. still waiting... The physical pain of the cramping is nothing compared to the intense emotional pain.
I am not sure how to mourn this, I walked away, I thought we couldn't get pregnant and then this happened... this beautiful little miracle, I was so excited.. so happy... so ready for this.. and then poof a month later, it was all gone. All my dreams...
Yes, we want to foster and adopt, and I am 100% sure we would love that child more than anything but the miracle of your own baby is something I now know... I know what it feels like now to be pregnant... I know what it feels like now to say the words, 'I'm Pregnant' and glow. I don't know if i will ever recover.
What a year this has been... What a life this is... God sure knows how to test my faith but I got news for you God, I am not going anywhere, I am faithful and hopeful. I know you have a plan for us. I know that Ron and I will be parents. I know my life is going to be beautiful and I am going to be a mother... I just don't know who the baby/child is yet.
Please pray for us during this hard time.
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